You're a Good Mom, No Matter How Much You Spend on a Stroller

When I was pregnant (and a first-time mom) more than eight years ago, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of stuff just one baby needed that I cried in the middle of a Babies "R" Us. I didn't know a swing from a Snoo, and why did I need a Diaper Genie if we had a garbage pail!? But I did know that a stroller was non-negotiable.

A very kind saleslady took us through all the options (and there were MANY), but her questions stressed me out. Was I planning to jog with my baby? Hike? Go to parks or beaches? Spend a lot of time in and out of the car? Did we plan on traveling? I thought the only features I needed to worry about were a cup holder for my iced coffee and a comfortable seat for my baby to chill out so she wasn't always in my arms when on the go.

The saleslady took pity on my tearful responses and made the executive decision that a Graco travel system would best fit our needs. I watched her magically transform the carriage into a car seat and back into a stroller. I had zero idea that our practical stroller wasn't "fancy" — but it's apparent that many new moms are acutely aware.

I'm fascinated by the "Strollergate" that recently erupted on TikTok. It began when @brookesobasic felt she got side-eye at the zoo for being the only mom with a Graco while everyone else had "elite" or "trendy" brands like Uppababy, Mockingbird, Nuna or Wonderfold. Brooke's post opened up a debate on strollers as status symbols for parents — in the same vein as luxury cars or designer handbags.

It's not lost on me that celebrities like Paris Hilton and Cardi B push their babies around in $7,000 Dior strollers. If you can afford it and think a luxe fashion company makes the best stroller for your family's needs, then you should buy it. But, the reality is that strollers are an essential piece of baby gear that every family needs. Shouldn't we care more about important features like safety, convenience and reliability versus price tag and logo?

It's a completely normal human emotion to feel competitiveness, explains Gail Saltz M.D., a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital and host of the "How Can I Help?" podcast. But for parents, there is something deeper triggering our judgment and envy.

"New moms are notoriously insecure, but what they're actually insecure about is caring for another being and being a good parent," Dr. Saltz says. "That insecurity can get placed onto seeing a mom with high-priced gear as doing it right or better or having more. That then is what becomes the source of envy."

On the flip side, the "show off" mom may be trying to convince herself that she's doing it better to manage her insecurities and create the appearance that she's "winning" at parenting.

Irina Gonzalez, 37, of Denver, Colorado, saw these dynamics play out as she moved from a small suburban town where budget brands such as Chico, Graco and Britax were the norm to bigger cities where the minimum prices of the strollers she saw being pushed around were $1,000.

"I remember this one day, at a park in Denver, my son and I were playing and I got side eyes from at least three different moms, who very obviously had more money than me because of their pricey, almost $3,000 strollers," she says. "The thing is, we all had all the same parenting issues. Except half of us could afford to look down on those who couldn't spend thousands upon thousands on just your baby's stroller alone, while the rest of us shop at Target. It's such a strange dynamic."

To move past envy and jealousy, it's essential to give other parents grace and the benefit of the doubt as we'd want them to do for us in a similar situation, explains Reena B. Patel, a licensed educational psychologist and board-certified behavior analyst.

"We must remember that no one wins in a parenting competition and that judging another parent will only provide temporary reinforcement of a 'feel good' factor," Patel says. "One way to get to a place where we are okay with what we have is to practice gratitude. Start by creating a list of the things you're grateful for and focus on them rather than what you do not have."

For some, getting the top-of-the-line stroller with all the bells and whistles is the right decision. "My friend bought me an Uppababy, and it is the best stroller," says Jeanne Chang, 42, of San Francisco, California. "We walked on average five miles a day. It would have been a struggle if my stroller wasn't such a workhorse. I have tried other strollers, but the Uppababy is so easy to push in the big wheels, making it very comfortable to walk all day."

Others feel their strollers are a waste of money: "Our toddler literally sat in the stroller only about 12 times," says Vera Shanti Giles, 50, of Issaquah, Washington. "Not kidding. I remember counting — half the time he pushed the stroller!"

Remember that a stroller's main purpose is to keep your child safe. All strollers sold in the United States must adhere to the safety standards set forth by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) — so as long as you purchase the stroller from a reputable retailer, you can rest assured that it will be safe even if it's one of the more modest models, says Leah Rocketto, associate commerce director at What to Expect. She shares other things to consider when purchasing a stroller:

Rocketto suggests parents consider if they will primarily use a stroller for light walks or for big trips, like to and from the grocery store. This would affect how much extra storage space you'll need. Will you take your stroller on runs or hikes? Then you may want to consider a jogger or a stroller with all-terrain wheels.

"If you know you're having twins, then you'll want to look at double strollers," Rocketto says. "If you don't plan on having a second child for a while or aren't sure if you want one, look for strollers that can be converted from a single to a double and have configurations that can handle various ages."

Another important factor is how much room you will have in your home to store a stroller. Parents who live in apartments will want to prioritize relatively compact strollers. City parents may need narrow strollers that can fold and stow easily. If you don't live in an elevator building or plan on bringing your stroller on the subway, you’ll have to carry it at times, so the lighter, the better.

Check out What to Expect's Best Baby Strollers of 2023.

For what it's worth, whether you opt for a $100 stroller or splurge on a $5,000 one, your baby might projectile vomit, blow out a diaper, spill milk or let chocolate ice cream melt all over the fabric. Your baby will chew up the straps and get cereal crumbs embedded into crevices you didn't even realize were there. Whatever stroller you pick, pick it with pride — and be sure you still feel that same pride after a few baby-initiated beatings.

Consumer Product Safety Commission, Carriages and Strollers Business Guidance & Small Entity Compliance Guide.

Leah Rocketto, Associate Commerce Director, What to Expect.

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